OHMAN.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE IS COMING TO SINGAPORE ON MY BIRTHDAY.

THIS IS SO SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICAXPEALIDOSCIOUSLY COOL!

To quote the person in our E-Radio recording: AWESOME, DUDE!

Hahahahahaha.

To think of it, the only concerts I ever went to were SSO ones.

Just in case there are any doubts; I DO enjoy classical music.

In fact, I think the experience at a Classical Music Concert will be much more comfortable and relaxed than that of at an Alternative Rock one.

And if anyone's wondering whether or not I like MCR, I'd like to refer that person to the Institute of Mental Health.

To anyone who's going; please get me a concert T-shirt?

Yes? Rach will be wonderfully grateful.
----------------------------------
GPA coming out tomorrow.

Bleah. Shan't whine; but it's going to be HORRIBLE.

Gah, it's my fault for not studying whole-heartedly and instead reading Fictionpress, going on facebook and writing poems during the study period.

WORK HARDER, LAZY PIECE OF SCUM.
(Assuming that I'm not kicked out yet)
--------------------------------
Borrowed three books from the library today! 8)
---------------------------------
Looking forward to getting my elastics on, and going for the Tianjin trip.

-Thanks for the happiness

Breathing Life Into A Statue

http://www.fictionpress.com/s/1743054/1/

Reading this has made me realised what a horrible person I've been.

Amid the romance plot of this ficlet, I realised that I'm actually quite as bitchy as the original Adrienne, albeit not as rich or spoilt.

Anyway, I should probably stop whining on my blog.

------------------------------------

Goals:

1) PULL UP MY GRADE-POINT AVERAGE.

2) Get A's for biology, chemistry and physics.

3) Maintain or improve on my maths. (Both modules)

4) Improve on my Chinese and Mandrin. (C+ or B if possible)

5) Be a nicer sister, friend and classmate.

6) Pass my ABRSM theory examinations. For this as well as next year. (Merit would be nice. Distinction would be perfect 8D)

7) Pass my ABRSM grade 8 piano examination in 2009. (Ditto)

8) Improve on my stamina and ball-skills. (Please let us be able to form a B-division team next year; I want to play!)

9) Start a band. (I MEAN IT. DRUMMER PLEASE!!!)

10) Stop stuffing myself with junk food and eating whenever I'm bored.

11) Revise Chemistry over the holidays

12) Revise Physics over the holidays

13) Practise M.I. over the holidays

14) Finish reading 'The Crucible' over the holidays

15) Lose 2kg over the holidays (dare I hope?)

-------------------------------------

[16) Learn to dance! Dancing is so graceful and expressive! (!!!) And passionate and flowy and artistic! Haha.]

But of course, this comes after, and IF AND ONLY IF, I pass my grade 8 piano practical and theory examinations.

----------------------------------

Keeping the Dream Alive

Bippity-Boppity-Boo

Today was boring.

Aside from getting high with Joan, Mingjie (she was stoning, though) and Shuliet. And watching Miss Swan on youtube and listening to Joan's Bimbotic voice-part on the E-radio thing.

Oh, and Zachy-poo.

Hahahahaha.
------------------------
Grades turned out higher than I expected myself to get.

Mostly B's. One C. One A.

If I get a 3.0 GPA pr anything higher, I'll be happy.

But I still am pissed and frustrated at myself.

ARRGH.

I'm such an airhead.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Must get into a studying mood for the whole of next year.

No facebook, no fictionpress, and no runescape.

Retarded
Asanine
Careless
Hypocritical
Errant
Loser

That's what I call an Acrostic Poem.

Sore Throat.

Bleah.

And what's more, my haircut's made me look like a cross between a bimbo and an ah-lian.

Grah. Now I sound like a man, and look like a bimbo-lian.

Wonderful crossdresser, aren't I?
-------------------------
Exam results coming up.

Drama, drama; here I come.

It's going to be a rather depressing affair.

MCR's hit the nail on its head.

Throw on the black dress; mix in with the lot
-------------------------
:/

SPIRE is death by doses.

Haha, restless.

------------------

BELLE ONG YING LUN! I AM SOSOSOSOSOSOSO SORRY!

I DIDN'T MEAN TO MINUS SO MUCH FROM YOUR CREDITS!

Ack!!!

:/

------------------------

Bleah. I'm gonna hate my exam results man.

Screwed.

I PROMISE THAT I WILL DO BETTER NEXT YEAR IF I GET 3.0 OR HIGHER GPA THIS YEAR. PLEASE DON'T KICK ME OUT OR SEND ME TO SEE ANYONE REGARDING MY GRADES.

Argh.

I semi-gave up halfway through assessment week, actually. (And resolved to do better next year) because I knew that my GPA's a lost cause.

Now, however, I don't even think I'll remain here next year.

Please, please; let there be a miracle :/

Okay. That wasn't my last post before the exams.

So sue me.

:/
------------------
I'm pissed at you, in case you haven't noticed.
-------------------
I have realised that I'm quite fond of shooting down various unidentified 'you's on my blog.

No offence meant to any party out there. Just a way of letting people comprehend my feelings (if the correct person accurately interprets my rambling).

Quixotic Paroxysms of rage.
---------------------
How ironic.

You try to be unique, accepted, and liked; yet you try to make yourself seem apart and different.

Of course, everyone, myself included; desires to be accepted and liked, but unique.

But making yourself seem different and segregated; and mysterious, clearly screams your desperation for attention.

Wanting attention is normal. But you aren't lacking in attention.

You just revel in it.
You crave it.

I don't dislike an entire person based on a single aspect. I just dislike the Desperation of attention seekers.
---------------------
Gah.

I can't study.

I keep having this feeling that I'm not going to be able to get a minimum of an overall 3.0 GPA.

And I'm stressed, frustrated, angry, hysterical and hateful.

I need to vent everything.
----------------------
I still don't feel better.
-----------------------
I feel like crying.
---------------------
What I've not studied:
Biology: Nerves, Functions of the parts of the eye.

Chemistry: Acids and Bases, Moles, Minerals

Geography (I.S.): Everything.

History: Society, Origins of the Cold War.

Geography (I.H.): Everything.

Economics: PPF, Format of answer.

Physics: Everything.

A. Maths: Haven't practised.

E. Maths: Ditto.

Higher Chinese: Haven't revised structure of Yingyongwen.
------------------------
Wonderful.
-----------------
-Quixotic Paroxysms of Rage.

Just some Last Words

Before the Dreaded Trial.

EMT week.

EOYs.

Assesment Week.

Judgement Week.

Whatever you call it.
-------------------------
A million years ago, in Primary Three, I constantly fared quite well in Chinese. Then I started reading English Classics at that age. The next year, my English improved and I started writing poems.

In Primary Six, I had collated my own portfolio of sorts (of English poetry and prose). As for my Chinese, I guess it was still of a reasonable standard. I memorised quite a number of yanyu and xiehouyu, and managed to get a merit in the Higher Chinese PSLE.

Then in Secondary school, my Chinese suddenly went down the gutter. I was reduced to semi-direct-english-translations in my chinese essays. I still spoke comprehensible mandrin (which I conversed in with my grandmother and cousins), but when it came to putting it down onto paper, my chinese seriously was horrible. I did try to improve; I even read three chinese novels of my own accord in Secondary Two, but somehow, when this year started, my failing grade indicated a lack of improvement.

Tuition didn't help. It only added to my homework load. So I wanted out; on the condition that I pulled my chinese grade up.

And I did. From a D to a C.

Then mid-year interims came. And my favourite enemy came along and bashed me in the face.

Speed.

And I Failed chinese. And a whole long list of other subjects.

I wanted to give up.

But when zenglaoshi came, she made special efforts to help the people who were weak in chinese. Cliched as it may sound, her encouragement and care inspired me to do better.

When she first arrived, one of the first assignments she gave us was to write an essay about a teacher we were thankful for.

恩师.

Zenglaoshi, if you're reading this;
你是我的恩师. Thank you.

Three days till the exams. (I haven't studied anything. Grrrrr. Stupid Rach! Die, you lazy, asanine, buffoon!)

I want to do well.
----------------------------

Blind, by Lifehouse

I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it

That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this why
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it

That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

After all this why
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it

That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
----------------
I just want to get away from all this
To be of no relation to everything.
Ironic, isn't it?
When all's calm comparatively, I want Out. And I didn't choose to be In in the first place, anyway.
It's my own Life. I know when to study; and when I choose to rest.
I'm not a machine.
I don't need you to control and complain about what I do.
I'm not going to do my thing according to how you're going to plan it for me.
Just because the way I do things coincide with the way you want them to be done up till now, doesn't mean that I've been following your plan for me.
This is my life. Live yours. Not mine.
And you; I want no relation with you at all.
Even if you're suddenly there. You're so fake.
You weren't there before. What's with it now?
------------------
Now I realise that it's all a fluke. This education path.
Everyone's vying to attain the best results, to get into a university, then higher qualification then everyone else.
By then, it will be the numbered few with the first class honours and doctorates who will get the better job positions.
Could have just taken a more specific path along the polytechnic route and gotten diplomas to get other jobs. But I didn't want to disappoint you and you.
But now, I don't care anyway.
I want to stay on because I can't let myself down.
----------------------------
From now on, I am me.
I'm going to be different.
I'm going to have reasons which contradict yours and yours.

From now on, I'm going to be a different me:
One that's not like you.

-The words come crashing upon me once again